Memo to the world.

To everyone, including me:

I do not hate Kevin; I love Kevin. Nobody held a gun to my head and said marry him. I picked him all by myself. Not only did I choose him, I loved every little thing about him. The books he read, his goofy jokes that no one else got, his love of debating politics, and lots of other things that I will keep personal. Things, that I, his once wife, will always treasure.

He is a great dad. He does things with the girls that I completely admire and wish my dad had done with me. He is capable of teaching them things I can't or just don't want to teach them -- like dissecting a dead animal. That is something I will never do. And cars... Kevin is a freaking car genius... he tells the car dealers more informations than they know. That holds no appeal for me. And my efforts at getting Camille to talk to him are paying off -- and I am happy about that. Even when I want to feel a wee bit resentful. I know he can do, teach, and be uniquely their father. And once again, I did choose to make babies with him. And man did we make beautiful babies... now we need to work together to raise them.

So yes, court is coming up. Things might have to get worse before the get better. But while they get worse, I want to think... and hope... and dream... that one day we can be good friends.

I've been talking to Randall a couple of times a day now. I remember for awhile how I just didn't want to be around him. I remember thinking just quit asking me to marry you and we will be fine. I loved him, and broke his heart. And you know what, he is still one of my best friends. His wife is adorable and so are his girls. Life worked out beautifully... we were not meant to be married... but we were destined for a great friendship. Maybe that is what I can hope for Kevin and me.

Kevin is not a monster. Not even close... he is a human being... lost in his own way... just like everyone else.